Lawyers are People Too



The ETU has three in-house lawyers who are here to help. Geoff is from a fine pedigree of lawyers. His parents are lawyers, his sister is a lawyer and, as you can imagine, their family dinner conversations are pretty dry. Geoff has been lawyering for the ETU since 2002.

Lucy is not from a family of lawyers. Her grandmother, a former union delegate, did not hide her disapproval upon learning that Lucy had decided to go to law school. Lucy would like to think that she has now been forgiven for her apparent error in judgement. She is celebrating her 1 year anniversary with the ETU in April, having previously lawyered for the AMWU and ACTU.

Emma’s first lesson at her father’s knee was not to be a scab. Emma was a quick learner. Emma has been with the ETU for a year and a half, and is about to be admitted to legal practice at a fancy ceremony in the Supreme Court.

Geoff, Lucy and Emma took some time out of their busy schedules to try to answer the tough questions:

ETU NEWS: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Geoff: I feel like this is a demarcation issue. The organisers should change the light bulbs.

Lucy: 54. 8 to argue; 1 to get a continuance; 1 to object; 1 to demur; 2 to research precedents; 1 to dictate a letter; 1 to stipulate; 1 to write interrogatories; 2 to settle; and 36 to bill for professional services. Unless you’re an ETU lawyer, in which case it’s just 1, to direct an organiser to do it.

Emma: [too busy drafting formal notification of lightbulb dispute, pursuant to dispute resolution procedure in enterprise agreement, to answer question].

ETU NEWS: What is your favourite thing about working for the ETU?

Geoff: kicking a*** for the working class

Lucy: that time I left my phone charger in the office overnight, and when I got to work the next day it had been tested and tagged. True story.

Emma: fighting the good fight against HR. *growls*

ETU NEWS: And what have you three done for us lately?

Geoff: Collectively recovered over $1 million in unpaid wages, unfair and unlawful dismissals, and through other industrial disputes since we started counting last year.

[interview is briefly interrupted while the lawyers high five each other]

Lucy: And so you see, lawyers are people too! I mean, they’re not necessarily good people as a general rule, but I feel like ETU lawyers are the exception to that particular rule.

Emma: And we’re available to assist ETU members for all types of workplace issues, free of charge!

Keep them busy members; it’s better that way.

We swear they are better at arguing the law than they are at writing articles for the ETU news. They can be contacted at (03) 8329 0000 or at geoff@etu.asn.au, lucy@etu.asn.au and emma@etu.asn.au.